Sunday, December 25, 2011

Hoarders: Azeroth Edition - Winter Veil

Hello fellow hoarders! We find ourselves once again on the eve of Christmas. Presents have been wrapped, the eggnog is flowing...oh no, what is that? You've been missing out on the Feast of Winter Veil in Azeroth?! Fret not, dear hoarder of goods and achievements, I have just the link for you.


For those of you who are unaware, Wowhead has for the past few months been putting out amazing guides for each Azerothian holiday. Naturally the guide for the Feast of Winter Veil has been no exception. I'd honestly feel like a mockingbird if I simply repeated all of the amazing information that you can find in that post, so I shan't. Instead I will be highlighting some of the pets and mounts that you, dear hoarder, may take interest in.


Pets
Lump of Coal - Never, ever have I wanted a lump of coal so badly. Everyone, meet Lumpy. You can find him in a Stolen Present*, which you receive after having completed the quest You're a Mean One... Lumpy has roughly a 3% drop rate and refuses to show up in my stocking. Bah humbug!

Clockwork Rocket Bot - This was originally a present only available to those who looted it from under the tree in 2007. Now randomly available to those who bother with getting the Stolen Presents! The Feat of Strength awarded to those who received this pet in 2007 seems to also apply to those receiving the pet for the first time this year.

Blue Clockwork Rocket Bot - If you don't receive this fella this year in your Stolen Present, fret not! He also has a chance to drop from the Satchel of Exotic Mysteries and you can purchase him from a toy vendor near you (Orgrimmar, Stormwind, and Dalaran respectively).

Green Helper Box - A classic Azeroth Christmas pet. This guy may be found under the tree on Christmas day in a Gaily Wrapped Present. 25% chance to receive him.

Red Helper Box - A classic Azeroth Christmas pet. This guy may be found under the tree on Christmas day in a Gaily Wrapped Present. 25% chance to receive her.

Snowman Kit - A classic Azeroth Christmas pet. This guy may be found under the tree on Christmas day in a Gaily Wrapped Present. 26% chance to receive it.

Jingling Bell - A classic Azeroth Christmas pet. This guy may be found under the tree on Christmas day in a Gaily Wrapped Present. 25% chance to receive it.


Mounts
Sadly, there aren't any collectable mounts for this holiday. If you'd like to make your mount more festive though, you may do that! Go kiss a Winter Reveler and they will award you with either Fresh Holly (which will turn your mount into a reindeer), Mistletoe, or a Handful of Snowflakes.


Items of Note
MiniZep Controller - Much like the Clockwork Rocket Bot from 2007, this item was only obtainable in 2010. It's available this year once again and can be randomly found in a Stolen Present. It will only fly in areas where flying is permitted, and will allow you to duke it out with other MiniZeps and Steam Tonk Controllers!

Miniature Winter Veil Tree - While my rogue is only level 70, she was ecstatic to receive not one, but TWO of these bad boys from my shaman this year. This little dagger may be found in a Stolen Present and has roughly a .9% drop rate.

Gaudy Winter Veil Sweater - Oh no, Great Aunt Myrtle did it again. She knitted us all our very own holiday sweaters. This item may be found under a Winter Veil tree near you beginning the 25th of Decemeber. If it itches too much, you may give it to the goblins for 5g and an achievement called Thanks, But No Thanks.


While there are plenty of other items to list, such as the rather decent sized list of available recipes for you crafting collectors, I think I shall end this post here. I must get to sleep shortly after all since I'm expecting Greatfather Winter to show up at any moment. As I stated at the beginning of this post, please check out Wowhead's complete guide to Winter Veil 2011 if you're craving a much more in depth list for each and every obtainable Christmas-related item.

May your stockings be lumpy with coal, your plates filled with gingerbread men, and your glasses of whatever beverage you choose never run dry. Happy Holidays all!


*Stolen Presents may contain one to two items plus 26-27 Justice Points.

Monday, December 19, 2011

2011 Blizzard Global Writing Contest - Saz's Entry

Many of you by now are well aware that today Blizzard finally announced the winners to the 2011 Global Writing Contest. This was my first year participating in the event and while I had my hopes set high, I unfortunately did not even gain a mention. That's okay though! I now have a reason to tweak and improve upon my writing so that I may do better next year. A huge congrats to all of the winners, among of which is the blogging world's own Catulla from Flavor Text (there are a few others, but sadly I'm not terribly familiar with them, congrats anyways)!

Since I am not a finalist or an honorable mention, I believe that I'm free to post my entry here for you all to read. After re-reading it months after I submitted it, I can see areas that could have used some heavy tweaking. There is also a rather saucy scene that I omitted in the entry, one that I've heavily debated on adding in when I made this public to you all. I'm going to be a lazy bastard though and make you all use your imaginations. I hope you enjoy the post!

*******

Somewhere in the hidden northern regions of the Eastern Kingdoms...

Trinity entered her home quietly on leather shod feet. The lights were dimmed, the fire lit in the hearth, and a felhound named Nheegrom lay snoozing on a rug in the corner of the room. In front of the fire sat two high backed chairs; one was vacant and the other occupied. Trinity quietly tossed a large sack of coins into the empty seat and walked over to her dozing lover. Gently she crawled into her lap, straddling her. Tesha smiled lazily as Trinity kissed her with a tenderness that no one would have ever expected the pair to be capable of.

"Have you brought me home treasures, my love?"

"All that and more." Trinity's rich, dark brown eyes gazed into Tesha's lighter brown pair. "I have brought you gold from the pockets of royalty, silver jewelry laden with pearls from the pirate ships of Booty Bay, and gems from the banks of Stormwind itself."

Tesha's luscious lips curved into a lazy, greedy smile. "My provider, my hero." She wrapped her arms around her partner's slim waist, closing her eyes again with a sigh. "I wasn't expecting you back tonight. The weather sounds dreadful out there."

"Nothing but wind for now, but I suspect that we'll be getting the rain and lightning soon enough. I had to run Shadden a bit hard to beat the storm, but I think the stallion will live."

"If he passes there's always Lux."

"I haven't the time nor talent for dealing with demonic steeds like you do, love." Trinity placed a gentle kiss on Tesha's pale brow and stood. The demon in the corner raised his head and let out a little huff of annoyance. "Present company excluded of course." The rogue walked over to Nheegrom and gave his head a stroke. Pleased with being recognized at last, the felpup yawned and returned to his sleeping state.

Moving around quietly, as she had a habit of doing, Trinity set about unpacking her saddle bags. "Anything exciting happen while I was away?"

The warlock took a moment to respond. With her head leaning on her hand and her eyes half closed, she simply said "Oh, a little of this, a little of that. Nothing that the minions and I couldn't handle."

"What sort of this and that?"

"The priests came banging on the door again, screaming about hellfire and demons and sin. They shook their books at me, condemned us, tried to scare me out of town. As if they really knew about the first thing about demons and hellfire." Tesha snorted. "Foolish mind games, all of it."

"I see. And you dealt with them how exactly?"

"They wanted demons and hellfire, I showed them demons and hellfire."

The rogue couldn't help but smile to herself. The whole reason why she loved Tesha was for her spitfire, spunk, and remorseless attitude towards anyone who didn't suit her. She was ruthless and, by the Light, when you got her worked up, she was intoxicating.

The warlock sighed and worked her way out of the overstuffed chair. Having nothing to do besides chase off the occasional holy roller while her partner was away meant that she did little else but eat and study her demonology books. Her waistline was starting to show the physical neglect. Enviously she eyed up her slender companion. As always she was lithe, toned, and oh so perfect in every physical way. Tesha couldn't help but wrap her arms around her partners waist once again, kissing her neck as she did so.

"Tell me about your adventures." She said as she nuzzled Trinity's neck.

Lovingly the rogue reached up and touched Tesha's face. "There were dashing men, pirates, booze, women in full length dresses covered in diamonds. Mansions, ghettos, swamps and deserts. All beautiful, all wonderful, but none so wonderful as this cabin and you." Pivoting around to be face to face with her partner, Trinity wrapped her arms around Tesha's neck. While she kissed the warlock deeply she adorned Tesha with a stunning diamond necklace which showcased a giant ruby.

Tesha gasped and touched the jewel. "Where did you find such a thing?"

"A proper thief never tells." Her wicked grin responded to Tesha's stunned one.

"It's lovely."

"Only the best for me and mine, love."

Oh how she had missed her lover's voice, her sassy presence. Tesha had always been a sucker for a Gilnean accent, but when that accent mixed with Trinity's deep, rich voice...the sound was absolutely divine to her ears. It was a weakness that she held for her since they first teamed up on that mission all those years ago.

Trinity turned back to the task of unpacking her travel bags while Tesha found herself deep in thought. As she touched the pretty thing that laid about her neck, she wandered over to the fireplace and mused. Ten years, almost to the cold, fall day. Ten years it had been since they first touched lips, eight since the paladins of Stormwind found out about their affair and they had yet to pry their love apart. They tried, oh did they ever try. They sent priests to smite the fear of the Light into their hearts, they put the novice paladins who were freshly initiated into the Stormwind Guard on the job of cleansing their spirits, they sent a small platoon of warriors out to arrest them on grounds of indecent behavior, and there was even an incident where they sent a small group of hunters and rogues out to spy and trap the two women in whatever act that the higher paladins thought to be indecent. All in attempts to save the souls of two "improper" ladies. Did they not know or care who these so-called ladies were?

Tesha laughed to herself. The holy souls of Stormwind cared less about the fact that she was a woman who dealt with demons while her partner was a criminal mastermind. The warlock in her younger days had decimated small villages and once was able to harness the beasts of nightmares; she had drained the souls of hundreds of innocents, and yet they dare try to save her soul? She had no use for a soul, for she had plenty stored away. Trinity had stolen from the rich and poor alike, caring for no one but Tesha herself throughout all these years. She was cunning, ruthless, and didn't have the mind to spend precious scheming time on those religious fools. What did she care what these people thought about what she did behind closed doors? Perhaps if they worried about their own issues at hand, the rogue's coffers wouldn't be filled with so much gold. But no, they'd much rather shake their fists at two women who cared for each other than to worry about demon invasions or criminal masterminds who remained at large. For as annoying as it could become, that scenario suited Tesha just fine.

Perhaps they were just jealous that two women could so love each other so much, gain so much pleasure from one another, while they, the pious bastards, were miserable.

"I'm going up to take a bath."

Startled from her thoughts, Tesha could merely smile and nod as Trinity made her way up the stairs. Even with the softest of footfalls the floor boards of the little cabin creaked. She heard the water turn on followed soon after by the sound of a tub filling. So long had they been apart that it was almost strange to have another person in the cabin again.

Outside a crack of thunder let loose and rain began to beat on the windowpanes. A cool breeze shot down the chimney, chilling Tesha to the bone. She shuddered, wrapped her cloak around her more tightly, and began closing the inner shutters on the windows. Soon enough winter would come to the little cabin, and for a few months the two women would live like ice queens. They would sit together nightly in front of the warm fire, love each other in the large bed upstairs that was big enough for three kings (plus their queens and concubines), and for a while she wouldn't be alone. That was to say, she'd have company in the house until Winterveil came around. That time of the winter was too perfect for Trinity to not go out and do her thieving thing. She was rarely gone for more than a week at a time during the winter months but, despite her multitude of summon-able minions, Tesha had to admit that she was lonely without Trinity by her side.

With the windows locked tight, the fire dying, and Nheegrom sleeping soundly at the cooling hearth, Tesha decided it was time to head upstairs herself. Trinity never took long in the bath, and they had been away from each other for several moon cycles. The warlock grinned to herself as she felt that old familiar spark of excitement as she walked up the rickety stairs.

The upstairs region of the cabin that the two women shared comprised of one large room and a modest bathroom. The stairs were located along the wall on one side of the room and opposite to them stood the large bed. Tesha turned her head in the direction of that bed as she ascended the last few stairs, taking in the sight that was Trinity.

The rogue had her slender, dark skinned body wrapped in a white towel. She sat down on the over sized bed as she drew a comb through her long, damp black hair.

"Here, let me do that."

Allowing herself to be pampered, Trinity handed the little comb to Tesha. The two women sat silently together on the bed, enjoying one another's presence as the warlock gently worked the knots out of her partner's hair. Unable to resist her lover's bare shoulders, Tesha brushed the dark locks away and laid several gentle kisses on Trinity's skin. The rogue all but vocally purred. She turned her face to meet Tesha's, kissed her deeply, and began to remove her robe.

"It's been far too long since we last touched, love."

Tesha moaned, "Yes, yes it has."

As the winds whipped, the rains lashed, and the thunder rumbled through the air, the two women threw themselves into a state of ecstasy.

*******

The weather had calmed down to a gentle, grey drizzle by morning. The women had slept soundly together in each other's arms, but they were startled awake by a loud pounding on their front door.

"Open up ye heathens!" Yelled a man's voice. "We know you're home. You're in violation of the church, living in sin as you are. Petty thieves, demon mongers, sinners! We know your secrets. It's time to be saved by the Light!"

Trinity swore and lightly sprung from the bed. Carefully she looked out the window, then swore again.

"How many are there?"

"They've a small army that's visible. Judging by the sound of the horses panicking, there's a few in the barn minding them, plus I assume there's a few spread out in the woods behind the cabin."

"Stormwind Guard?"

"Worse, Scarlet Crusade."

"Wait...did you just say Scarlet Crusade? We're not the undead, what are they doing here?"

The rogue moved away from her window and began dressing in her combat leathers. "I'm not sure love. Maybe they ran out of undead to hassle so they thought they'd try their hand at taking out some sinners who harbor demons." She shrugged as she slide her poisonous daggers into their respective sheaths. "Doesn't matter why they're here. They are and it sounds like they mean to take us out." Another loud pounding on the door, the sounds of a window being smashed in. The felhound could be heard growling downstairs. "We have two choices, we run or fight. Either way it's not going to be easy."

Tesha was sliding on her rings as she spoke. "Do I look like I'm in any shape to be running? No Trinity, I have no intention of running. This cabin is our home. Where would we go? Winter is almost on us and unless we steal a gryphon and make for Booty Bay we'll freeze to death without a home." The warlock defiantly shook her head, making up her mind. "No, this is our home and I will hand it over to no one. Not to the Stormwind Guard, not to the bloody Scarlet Crusade, not to the Light itself."

Smiling, Trinity walked over to Tesha, grasped her hand and planted a quick kiss on her knuckles. "As you wish. Let me get my throwing knives then."

Tesha returned the smile and moved to grab her staff, Atiesh. The staff itself had also been a gift from one of Trinity's many thieving adventures, taken from the hands of an elderly mage. It wasn't much to look at, but the power it possessed was, well it was rather legendary.

"Where did you set up your last demon portal?"

"There's one in the loft of the barn, another out in the woods, a third but older one is up on the roof, but I'm sure I can still access it."

Trinity nodded, thinking of nothing now but battle tactics. "The loft won't be of much use, I'm sure they are already watching that one. See if you can't use the one on the roof. I'm sure up there would give you the best vantage point to rain fire and demons on the heads of these intruders. Save the one in the woods just in case you find yourself in need of making a run for it. Anything that gets near you, send it running. Try to stay on hider grounds: the roofs of the out buildings, trees, whatever else you can stand on. I may end up having to throw knives blindly with this many Scarlets around and I'd rather not hit you. If we get overwhelmed, run. Summon Lux to you and run."

"And you? If we get overrun will you perform one of your wonderful vanishing acts?"

She grinned wickedly in reply. "Naturally love. With them choking on gasses and bleeding from the gashes that they never saw coming."

"Then I'll see you on the battle field."

Tesha called to Nheegrom and together they teleported up to the roof. Meanwhile Trinity slid out of one of the second story windows, shimmying her way down to the ground with the stealth and ease of a seasoned assassin.

"Come on boys, we need to get this door down!" Bellowed a rather fat lieutenant. His holy jowls shook as he orchestrated the heave-ho of his soldiers, who just so happened to be wielding a makeshift battering ram. Trinity decided that while he was probably the wisest choice to take out first, she'd try and save this so called man of the Light for last. If he wanted to spout on about demonic activities and hellfire, his dying visions would be demons and destruction. While she let some time pass, ensuring that Tesha was ready to do her part, Trinity snuck around the property. She placed a few bombs here, a few distractions there, gagging and blinding a few stragglers permanently. Silently she slipped into the barn, removing the opposition that decided to occupy the little building. One by one she snuck up behind her prey, silently on leather shod feet, and drew a blade across their necks, silencing them for eternity. When the barn was cleared of Scarlet soldiers, she waited. Once she heard the sounds of demons on the kill, she'd release the horses. The two fiery stallions that Tesha kept there would create chaos and destruction; her black stallion himself was a wild force to be reckoned with as well.

*******

The warlock stroked the hair on top of the felhunter's head. "I need you to stay by my side, Nheegrom. Attack only what comes near me. Silence anything that tries to lay a heal." She then stood, closed her eyes, and began to summon her arsenal of demons.

"Come to me, sweet Lynyla. I need you to charm and lash out at my enemies.
Come Jakgup, you little imp. Bring with you your fire and fiendish friends.
Hathkresh, my blue minion, bring me your protection.
Izikraksha, I dare summon you now. I'm in need of your muscle and axe."

Already drained of resources Tesha traded some of her health to restore her magical reserve. She then promptly harvested the souls of those that Trinity hate secretly felled down below to replenish that of which she had just taken away from herself. She took inventory of her little army and felt a love for them that only a warlock such as herself could feel. "My minions, I am in need of your protection today. Your master has called, now do my bidding."

Tesha began to drop infernos from the sky as her minions made their way down to where the army of Scarlet Crusaders stood, still trying to break their way into the cabin. One by one the infernos hit the ground in a blazing green glory, unrolling themselves into a near humanoid form. As the infernos reached their full hight they began to unleash their rocky demonic fury. They swung their mighty rock fists at the soldiers of the Scarlet Crusade, crushing skulls and collapsing chest cavities with each mighty swing. Their pulsing green auras melted and twisted the skins of those who ran to close. While Tesha was preoccupied with summoning her infernos, a priest on a snowy white gryphon dropped down on the warlock. The priest was focused only on smiting the warlock, missing the presence of the felhound. Nheegrom silenced the attacker and bit at the man's heels, tripping the him and breaking his legs, effectively immobilizing him. To be absolutely certain that the priest would cause no more harm though Tesha first cursed his tongue, then drained his life from him. She'd save the man's soul for later use.

*******

Upon hearing the chaos that the infernos created, Trinity took her queue and released the horses. She then sprinted from her hiding spot in the barn into the open, shifting into her wolfish form as she did so, her poisoned blades bringing pain and death to all those who stood in her path. Furiously she sliced the enemy to ribbons, dodging their counterattacks, distracting the healers long enough to allow Tesha's demons to do the real destruction. Step, step, thrust, step, slash, stab, step, step, stab. In her wake lay several bodies, some silent and slowly draining of their life fluids, some crying out in agony as her poisons did their job. Finally having made her way into the center of the fray, Trinity felt herself to be slightly overwhelmed so she began to throw her little knives in a broad arc. Even in the fray of battle, heavily surrounded, she was calm and calculating. Each knife was thrown with precision and care. Many of those knives she flung that morning found their way into the necks and vitals of the red and white clad soldiers, efficiently taking out the enemy.

The ground began to vibrate; the rogue smiled. Out of the wood line stormed a doomguard, immolating the nearest of the holy paladins and priests, creating around itself an aura of terror. A second doomguard soon followed the first, stomping a great hoof down on the skulls and crushing of any of those who dared to come in a close enough range.

Everywhere imps cackled and cast their balls of flame; voidwalkers shielded the doomguards, taunting the soldiers of the Light and demoralizing them as their holy spells did no damage to the larger demons; the succubi were making quick work of the Scarlet Crusade's presumably best holy warriors, charming the men into a slave-like stupor and lashing their whips at any of those who came near enough. A couple of the infernals had crumbled into individual stone, but at least three were still creating mass destruction in their rocky wake.

For those who belonged to the army of the Scarlet Crusade, it was absolute pandemonium.

The grey skies continued to drop a light drizzle on top of the warring parties, but the damp was no foe of the fiends of hell. The little yard had turned into a mud field covered in death. While many of the soldiers who were clad in plate were stuck in the suction, Trinity slid across the mud and blood with ease. She was a dancer on the stage of sludge, her actions a ballet of destruction. Her orchestrater was the giant purple demon who flew down from the sky, bringing with her hellfire and fear.

Trinity let a sinister grin rip across on her face. Her lover, the demonic ginger. In between cutting down her own attackers Trinity couldn't help but to watch Tesha work. The warlock cursed the tongues of those who dare try to send a holy spell her way, inflicted agony on those who attempted to raise a hammer to her, crippled any foe who tried to attack her or her partner. Much like when Trinity used her throwing knives, it mattered not in which direction the warlock was currently facing; spells flew out in every direction with great power and haste. The Scarlet Crusade had been wise in bringing a whole army to try and capture the women, but despite their numbers and single-minded zealotry, even they quaked in fear of the demon before them.

"I thought I told you to stay on high ground!"

Tesha cackled at her lover's cry and turned back to the battle before her. "Katra zil shukil, anach kyree!" she yelled as she took out yet another soldier. "Shaza-keil gor'om haguul!!"

A young lad, no more than seventeen summers old, tried to attack the rogue from the side while she was distracted by Tesha's demonic war cries. He had once been a handsome blonde boy, as the remaining portions of his face attested to, but thanks to one of the warlock's various spells that fact had been altered permanently. Despite a look of defeat in his cold blue eyes the boy's spirit compelled him to attack the women until his dying breath. Trinity simply side stepped his feeble attempt at her life, thrusting her long dagger into his back as he stumbled past her, essentially ending the remaining portion of his doomed life.

Nearly at the same moment middle-aged paladin set on retribution for the lives and souls of his fallen comrades charged at Tesha from behind. With the reflexes of a snake striking its next meal Trinity removed her hand from the blade that was buried in the young priest's back, reached into one of the many protected pockets that held her throwing knives, grabbed ahold of the item that she was seeking, and flung that item at the man. She managed to lodge the little knife into a small crevice in his armor. Like the venom from a fang, the poison on the knife seeped into the man's blood stream. He shouted in pain and changed course for the rogue. While not an instantaneous death, the man perished painfully within minutes. She simply evaded him until that time came.

*******

The war between the two women and the Scarlet Crusade's army waged on well into the late afternoon. The steady drizzle that refused to let up continued on, bringing with it a thick fog as the day progressed. Both of the women, while showing no outward indication of injury or waning energy, were exhausted. Their yard, once pleasantly overgrown with grasses and wild flowers, was now covered in dead bodies and demon bits. Finally the sun peaked out between the hazy clouds just as it was dimming its light on Azeroth and the remaining soldiers of the Scarlet Crusade were either killed or somehow miraculously scared off. There now was only one man between the women and fully reclaiming their home: the man with the jowls. The lieutenant.

Like the two women, the lieutenant had not made it through that day's battle unscathed. He had a large gash that was leaking his life fluid down his side and when he spoke, his speech was garbled from the various curses that had struck him.

"Shinners! Whoresh! Demon mongersh!! You will pay for the crimesh you have committed here today!"

Trinity sighed, rolled her eyes, and played a vanishing act as Tesha preoccupied the huffing and bloated man.

The warlock was now back in her human form, having long exhausted the energy that allowed her to summon her demonic alter-ego. "Why don't you just give it up? Leave us in peace, for not even the best of your soldiers could take us out in force. What makes you think that you alone can make us pay for our so-called sins?"

Filled with zealotry and blind holy rage, the man began to charge at Tesha, shield in hand. He started out slow and lumbering, but quickly gained momentum with each step. Faster and faster he barreled towards her, each breath ragged. Just as the warlock was about to teleport herself to safety, the man's feet flew out from underneath him, as if his flapping neck folds had met an imaginary string that had been strung tight in the air. Within a few final bubbling breathes, the lieutenant was dead. Standing over him was Trinity, bloody wire still in hand.

Tesha walked over to her lovers side as Trinity finally shifted back into her human form and they took one another's hand. Together they surveyed the damage that had been done. A hundred or so men and women of the Scarlet Crusade lay dead in the mud that had once been grass. Of the warlock's demons only Nheegrom and one of the doomguards seemed to yet live, though both were severely injured. Both women suffered multiple shallow wounds and bore newly burned scars caused by the holy light wielded by the soldiers, but they would live to see another day.

"Do you think they'll come again?" Tesha asked.

"You know as well as I, as long as we're together and as long as we're seen as sinners in the eyes of those who claim to be holy, they'll return."

"I wasn't just generalities, I'm well aware that we'll be hunted until the last of our days. I'm just wondering if the Scarlet Crusade itself will return."

The rogue turned to Tesha, kissing her partner deeply on the lips. "No love. The Scarlet Crusade may be full of blind zealots, but they'd be foolish to waste anymore precious soldiers on the likes of us. We're not the possessed zombies they seek. As for the rest, they'll probably be pounding on our door once the snows have come and gone again.

"Come love, you're shivering from cold. We're both in dire need of a bath and dry linens. Let us light the hearth and mend our wounds."

Together they lifted the faithful felhound and brought him to his bed near the hearth. They bathed, bound their wounds, dressed in fresh clothes, then had their evening meal by the fire. Around them their cabin was in a state of devastation, but that night the two women were content to still call it their home. Rebuilding would have to begin another day. For now it was enough to have each other in the warmth of their cabin.


The story contained within this post is the intellectual property of the person behind World of Saz.Any reposting of this article is a violation of copyright. Relinking is perfectly fine, reposting and taking credit for it is not. Give credit where credit is due. The world this story takes place in is the property of Blizzard Entertainment.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Fortune Friday

They're quirky, they're fun, they're random Azerothian fortunes! Every Friday you will see a different fortune (either from our beloved Darkmoon Faire or the new fortune cards) featured here at World of Saz. Enjoy!

Fortune Card: Your talents will be recognized and rewarded. Provided your talent spec is good.

I got this. I'm enhanced, baby.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

IntPiPoMo #10 - Of Instances and So-Called Bosses

Here it is, the last installment for Angelya's IntPiPoMo screenshot challenge. It has been a wonderful project that has pushed me to share a lot of images that would have just ended up in the photo gallery at some point, which I know doesn't get looked at all that often. So thank you for putting this out there Angelya! Happy soon to be December to you all.






I must admit that the second to last image is not my own. It was taken by Pathanther after a wipe, though I did do some minor contrast editing to it. I thought it was too stunning not to share! If the inclusion of his image makes me short for this event, just include one of my Fortunate Fridays posts. /casts cheat! 

IntPiPoMo #9 - Jungle Fever

Oh boy, I'm cutting it a little bit close on Angelya's IntPiPoMo screenshot challenge! That's okay though, I'm in the home stretch and should be able to make the deadline. Here are images 40 through 45.





Monday, November 28, 2011

IntPiPoMo #8 - Landscapes of Azeroth and Beyond

It's nearly the end of November, so we're coming to a close with Angelya's IntPiPoMo screenshot challenge. Fear not, after this post I still have 10 images to post! I'm sure you're stoked ; )





Saturday, November 26, 2011

Fortunate Saturday(?)

They're quirky, they're fun, they're random Azerothian fortunes! Every Friday (or some other random day of the weekend if Saz derps on knowing what part of the week it really is) you will see a different fortune (either from our beloved Darkmoon Faire or the new fortune cards) featured here at World of Saz. Enjoy!

Fortune Card: You might have better luck with another fortune.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

The Turkinator

The fearless warriors gathered together on a cold, bright morning. The sun had just lumbered its way over the tree lined horizon, the grass was covered in a thick layer of hoar frost and crunched under foot. The citadel lay silently before them, unsuspecting.

Loudly and without caution the raid team began to circle the large building. They pecked at the ground with their mighty beaks, looking for sustenance and booby traps. Some of the younger warriors sparred with each other, impatient for the battle to begin. 

A pair of young assassins scaled one of the fences near the citadel, trying to gain a glimpse of what they were up against. Their eyesight wasn't terribly keen but they were able to do what they meant to do and saw what they had come to see. With ungraceful dismounts they both returned to the ground with a great *thunk*. The assassins promptly reported their findings to the head Tom. The head Tom listened intently with his scaly head cocked sideways, then addressed the rest of the flock once the report had been given.

"Hens! Toms! For years we have been hunted! For years we have been chased away from the seed and corn left for the unworthy, the deer and small birds! WELL NO MORE! Today is the day, my fellow hens and toms, that we shall claim what is rightfully ours! Today we shall put the slaughter of our kind to an end! TODAY WILL BE THE DAY OF THE ALMIGHTY TURKEY!!!" *gobblegobble*

Many loud and garbled cheers rose up amongst the ranks. The head Tom cleared his throat and continued on.

*gobblegobble* "Our assassins just reported to me that the head of the citadel is not in, nor is the secondary. Likewise the pellet gun wielder seems to have stepped out. Currently the citadel is only occupied by one boss and her small army of what one assassin claimed to be "deformed rats." Our assassins have stunned the "Saz" as they called her, but she will be aware of our presence and alert once she comes back around. The "deformed rats" are still a threat, though they seem to be contained for now and will only be loosed upon us if we allow the "Saz" the opportunity to do so." *gobblegobblegobble* "There is a guard dog, but he also seems to be locked up for the moment, thus is not considered to be a threat." *gobblegobble* "A team of ten should stay here in the front yard and occupy it in an intimidating fashion. It is your duty to distract the "Saz" while our special ops team gets to work. You two young toms, you stay up front with those eight hens. You three toms there! You, the remaining hens, and myself will head around to the back where we shall try to secure the last of the bird seed. Assassins, you two will float between the positions, but keep a special eye on the side of the building, that will be our one vulnerable spot during this operation. Questions?"

*gobble* "If I may, sir." Said a little hen. What shall we do if the "Saz" exits the building?"

The head Tom's face grew very serious. "If that were to happen," *gobblegobble* "there very well could be much bloodshed. However, we have strength and we have numbers. It is my belief that even if she were to set loose the "deformed rats" and the guard dog that our numbers would still prevail. Have heart, fight fearlessly. We do this so that our already large numbers can grow greater. We do this to ensure that your chicks and your chicks' chicks will grow fat and powerful. More fat and more powerful than even we are today. We have come for our freedom, we have come for the food, we have come for our chicks' lives, and we have come for the freedom to have the food. All the food. Sacrifices may be made to ensure the fatness of the rest. The winters are cold and harsh, do you not wish for your chicks to be fat?"

"Of course sir!"

"Don't you wish to be fat?"

"Oh yes sir!!"

"Then, let us get 'Operation: Occupy Saz's Lawn' underway. Places turkeys, we have gullets to fill!"

*******

Meanwhile, inside the citadel (aka my house) ...

*Saz is minding her own business, chatting away on Twitter. Suddenly she hears a loud commotion outside of her window.*

"There are twenty turkeys on my front lawn." She tweets. "OMG!! TWO OF THEM ARE ON MY FENCE STARING AT ME!!!"

*Runs into the kitchen to see if they have invaded the backyard as well, which they have. Runs back to the computer and begins to type furiously."

"THEY'RE IN MY BACKYARD TOO! I'M SURROUNDED!!!"

*She then decides to take the advice of her twitmates, promptly borrowing a Frostmourne and a turkey baster.*

Yells: Come then champions, feed me your breasts!




**No wild turkeys were harmed in the writing of this story. However, had this been a completely true story, they would have been served up with potatoes, gravy, fresh bread, stuffing, fresh pumpkin pie, and more than likely carrots. I'm sure there would also have been a large assortment of various of other foods made available to those returning to the citadel later that evening or even visiting the next day.**

For the record, wild turkeys are SCARY. They really are birdzillas. If you don't know what a birdzilla is, I implore you to watch the original Homeward Bound movie. Chance is awesome.

I'd like to take a moment to thank several people, and groups of people for that matter, since it is indeed the season for giving thanks, and I never seem to feel thankful enough.

I'd like to thank firstly my little WoW crew, even though most of you no longer actually play. Without the support you have given me this past year (and more) I would have never taken up this writing endeavor, would have quit WoW itself long ago, and more than likely would still be a miserable mess. You all mean the world to me, and I love you each dearly for it.

Secondly I'd like to thank the blogging community as a whole. You all make up such a wonderful community, I cannot even begin to describe how wonderful it has been to slowly discover all of the individuals involved in it. I'd like to thank Blog Azeroth, Twisted Nether, the MMO Melting Pot, and all of the folks involved with making those sites happen. You all make the blogosphere a community, please keep up the great work!

Thirdly I wish to thank those of you who follow/chat with me on Twitter. You all are a brilliant, fun-loving bunch. You keep me entertained and are almost always ready with helpful advice and kind word. Please don't change your crazy ways, ever.

Lastly(ish) I'd like to thank my family (regardless of the fact that I'm 99% certain none of them will read this) and my "man-shapped loot" for everything they've done for me. They put up with my stubborn and sometimes completely ridiculous ways and have stuck by my side through some pretty rough crap. I'm grateful to and love you guys more than I often show.

And finally we get to you, dear reader. Just because you're last on my list doesn't make you any less important. Oh no. Without you reading these words there would be very little reason for me to write. Sure, I love a good rant to get things off of my chest now and again, but what's the point if there isn't someone to read it? To bounce ideas off of me, to show me that I made a mistake? Without readers a blogger is but someone who journals. So I thank you for taking time out of your (more than likely) busy day to read, comment, or simply just browse at my little corner of the internet. You help to make what I do worth it. Thank you!

Oh, and one more thank you must be given before I finish this post. Thank you Amerence, along with Blog Azeroth and everyone else who is involved with making this event a success, for putting out this post topic out there for greater blogging community. It took me a bit to come up with an idea, but it was rather fun to write! Really, I blame Twitter for giving me the idea. The creative credit goes to those looney buggers (I say that with the greatest affection guys and gals!) for this one. 

Once again, just because I can: thanks! : D

IntPiPoMo #7 - City Scapes and Nightmares

Have a pile of screenshots laying around that you'd love to showcase, but haven't quite had the right reason to? Now you do! Jump in on Angelya's IntPiPoMo screenshot challenge, you still have a few days left to participate!





Saturday, November 19, 2011

IntPiPoMo #6 - Darnassus and Durnholde

It's still not to late to jump into Angelya's IntPiPoMo screenshot challenge! Check out the link and get to posting.





Friday, November 18, 2011

Fortune Friday

They're quirky, they're fun, they're random Azerothian fortunes! Every Friday you will see a different fortune (either from our beloved Darkmoon Faire or the new fortune cards) featured here at World of Saz. Enjoy!

Fortune Card: You are very fortunate!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

IntPiPoMo #5 - Sholazar and Borean

Here's my 5th installment of Angelya's IntPiPoMo screenshot challenge. Check out the link for more info if you'd like to join in on the fun!





Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The 5 Golden Rules of Raiding

Take care of everything you will need for the raid prior to the start time.
Need to regem/reforge/respec? Take care of it well before raid invites go out. Need food, flasks, or to repair? Again, take care of this before invites go out. Sure, we may all forget to do these things from time to time, but if you habitually have to hearth out of a raid or pop down a guild bank because you forgot something again, your group isn't going to want to raid with you much. When you /afk or feel the need to run off to the reforger every single time you get a new toy, you're wasting the precious raid time of 9 or 24 other people. Time is precious dear reader, and that 15 minutes it took you to gem/enchant/reforge/do whatever to your brand new piece of whatever is 15 minutes that your raid members will never get back. You could have downed another boss in that time!

Be on time.
I was taught the saying in high school: To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be forgotten. If you log on early you give yourself ample time to take care of everything mentioned in the prior point, fly your happy butt to the raid entrance, and this little bit of extra prep time will probably give you ability to get that glass of water or to go tinkle really quickly if you hadn't done so already. Everyone being on time makes for a potential earlier pull, an earlier pull means more things die, more things dying means more potential shinies for everyone. More chances at loot and boss kills make people happy; waiting for Jimmy, Timmy, and Sal to log on doesn't. Savvy?

Know the fights before hand.
Read a strategy guide, watch a video (I hear Tankspot and Learn2Raid have some fantastic ones), do something to get a general feel for a fight before you step into a raid. Do you need to be able to recite the dungeon journal and know what every person in the raid must do in their given role? Certainly not, but you should be at least aware of what is expected of you.

If you don't know, ask.
For a good majority of the raiding community a strategy video, written guide, or the dungeon journal simply isn't enough.While they may understand the basic concepts of an encounter, not everything may "click" for them until they get in there and get their hands dirty themselves. This fact is completely acceptable; we're not machines after all and everyone's learning process is a bit different. However, if by the time your group is a few pulls in and there is something that you or your group as a whole is still not grasping, ask. Ask what you could be doing wrong personally (assuming it's you who is miffing something up), or ask how the group could possibly improve. If you're uncomfortable with asking the group as a whole, whisper either the raid leader, or (if it's a personal struggle on a certain mechanic) ask another person who also happens to be in a similar role as you who seems to be doing well what the skinny is. While you may learn something on your own eventually, asking a simple question may save you many future blunders and repair bills.

Stay positive.
Staying positive is by far one of the most difficult things to stick with. Positivity can go a long way in a raid that is either learning for the first time or simply having a rough night. With a short bio break, some positive wording, and a bit of mental regrouping, a raid can go from wiping like crazy to rocking some faces off. Randomly toddling off without permission from the raid leader because you've had it never helps the situation at hand; this includes random afks, leaving the raid unexpectedly, and drama logging (aka so called "power outages" that never actually happen). While yes, bad nights suck, pulling the drama queen out of the closet doesn't help the raid and it certainly doesn't help the people in the raid think any better about you. If you're truly at your whit's end there are many other raids and guilds out there. If you're not anywhere near an actual self boiling point but instead just a bit flustered, try to think positively. Take a swig of your beverage, do a few little stretches, shake out the bad vibes the best you can and get yourself back to killing those pixels. If the boss isn't not downed right then, it can/will be brought down some other day.


Preparation, timeliness, teamwork, and positivity; they make a ragtag team of people into a raid group. Together they slay all sorts of bad beasties, separated they cause a havoc induced headache haven. Take care of your raid and maybe, just maybe your raid will take care of you as well in return.