Quest Dread in the Cataclysm

Blog Azeroth. Shared Topics. Topic by Oathblade. Let's do this!

"We all have the ones we hate to do. The quests that make us froth in rage to see their name in our quest log. So what quest do you hate above all others? If you can break down why its so horrible and rework it so it works."

I'll be quite frank, I'm not one who really cares for questing. I do it because I need to either level, unlock a faction, grind up a faction (oh how I loathe dailies), or because I got it into my pea-sized brain that I must have the Loremaster title regardless of the fact that I'm not so much a lore nerd as I am a hoarder of useless things. However, since the arrival of Cataclysm I have found myself questing a bit more than I had pre-zomg fire and dragons are destroying the world-ness. Zone redesigns, new interactive questing, and new achievements have tugged me outside of the safety of Stormwind into the wild woods of Azeroth. Curiosity, it's a weakness.

While sure, a good chunk of the new quests are still a bit grindy, the Cataclysm revamps have thankfully added a dash of humor here and there. For example let's look at Redridge. The storyline of John J. Keeshan is, well, badass. It brings in a certain flair to the zone that it had been missing previously. Sure there's still a lot of "Omg, I gotta kill how many orcs and murlocs?", which naturally cause your eyes to glaze over in boredom, but then Keeshan suddenly reappears onto the scene to spice things up. Needless to say, for the most part quest grinding has become a *little* more bearable for those of us who have short attention spans.

Regardless of the positive changes, the quests that I hate the most still unfortunately exist: escort quests and buggy vehicle quests. Let us start with escort quests, shall we?


Escort Rage
From the time that I attempted that damn turtle escort quest in Tanaris back when I was trying to level Saz to present day, I have loathed and tried to avoid any and all escort quests. I'm sure you're wondering why I'd do such a thing.

Well, for one I despise the fact that the NPCs can't even move at remotely the same speed you do. Normal "running on foot" speed is always too bloody fast, normal "RP walk" speed is too slow. The result? Your character looks like it's doing a jerky two step while he or she is taking the robotic chicken out for a walk.

Reason number two as to why I hate escort quests: the random mobs that pop out of no where plus the mobs on the pre-determined path that are completely unavoidable. Alright, as a level 85 who is going back to lowbie areas to quest this really isn't an issue anymore. While this isn't really so much an issue for me, I'm thinking of the "children" of Azeroth. Please recall that my anger issues towards escort quests stems from that one turtle escort situation that went down in Tanaris all those many years ago. I so desperately wanted to help out Mr. Tortoise get back to his wife, I really did. It broke my heart that these two were separated and I wanted to help them find each other once again (please note, I took quests much more seriously back then...the story about little Pamela in the Eastern Plaguelands disturbed me so much that I refused to quest in the area anymore and resorted to getting lost in the buggy dens of Silithus). Even though there was two of us on the quest, we couldn't defend/keep Mr. Tortoise close enough to us to ever complete the escort.

I'm sorry for failing you all those years ago, Mr. Tortoise, I really am. I was more noobish than your average noob, as was the druid who was with me. I really hope that you managed to find your wife on your own.


Let's Blow Things Up
Now we get to a really fun mechanic that Blizzard has implemented into the game that I absolutely hate some days: vehicle quests.

I'll be honest, I think many of the vehicle quests are pretty neat. I mean, I swing axes all day long; any chance I get to rest my arms and run people over with a tank instead is fine by me. The downside to vehicle quests? They're often clunky (siege engines, I'm looking at your turn radius...) and unfortunately riddled with either functional or UI bugs.

Hopping into a siege engine Wintergrasp was a blast. Not being able to bail out of said siege engine when you needed to was not. Getting a vehicle quest where you need to run over a bunch of baddies with a tank, mondo fun. Not being able to navigate around that tree stump and getting yourself hung up on it with no escape, kind of a pisser. Finding an epically hilarious character who pulls you onto the back of his horse so that you may pelt rocks and armor at a giant freaking dinosaur, so much epic potential. Having the bastard bug out and only give you pebbles to chuck at previously mentioned dinosaur, thirteen minutes of absolute boredom.

I love the fact that Blizzard thought outside of the box and gave us vehicle battles, quests, and mounts. Really, I do. I hate how so many of those vehicles are still buggier than a forgotten fast food garbage bin after so much time.


Needless to say, slow-poke escorts and buggy vehicles tend to really grind my gears.